When I hear the term, “suck it up buttercup” I think of a Marine Corps drill sergeant yelling at a trainee trying to get them to “toughen up” or “deal with it” as they go through the grueling 12-week basic training process to become a Marine. So where does this common or popular idiom come from? The story goes, that back in World War II the pilots and aircrew had to literally “suck it up” if they vomited in their oxygen masks because if they didn’t, they risked suffocating on the acidic fumes or choking on the vomit if they inhaled it into their lungs. Now I don’t know how true that is because I actually flew B-52 bombers for a while, and we wore oxygen masks, and some people did throw up but not in their masks. I would also think that if you did by chance throw up in your mask you could dump it quickly so as to not inhale your own vomit. But either way, that’s where they say the term “suck it up” originated. It’s kind of gross but definitely gets the picture across of “just deal with it.” So where does the term buttercup come from? Besides the fact that it rhymes, a buttercup is also a flower and has the connotation of being soft or weak. Therefore, when put together, it basically means, don’t be soft and to toughen up and deal with it.
So why are we talking about vomiting in oxygen masks and flowers? Over the years this loving term has been used in various situations from the military, to parenting, to the business world. Society adopted the tough love or “suck it up buttercup” attitude about life and business. I’m sure we’ve all been told this in some form or fashion as we grew up. Is it wrong? Is there a better way to do it? I would argue that there is a better way to do it and that way is through emotional intelligence.
As I have spoken to many people about emotional intelligence there seems to a stigma around it for some people. That stigma is that emotional intelligence is a weakness or some form of let’s hold hands, sing “Kumbaya” and cry it out. Which is quite the opposite of the “suck it up buttercup” mentality we have developed in society. I would argue that emotional intelligence puts us in the middle of those two extremes and is able to get us through situations in life with a better outcome. I’ll give you an example. Let say you are flying on an airplane to go to your dream vacation spot. You are so excited that you finally get to go. You are sitting in your seat reading a book about your destination and all the fun activities you’ll be doing when suddenly extreme turbulence hits your aircraft. This can be a scary situation and your emotions can get the best of you. So, what do you do? Do you just suck it up, ride it out while still trying to read your book while thinking, “well if I die, I die?” Maybe the passenger next to you lets out a scream. Do you just tell them to “suck it up?” Or do you go to the other end of the spectrum when the turbulence hits and let out a scream, throw your book, and say “we’re all gonna die!” Neither is the best reaction. Someone with a higher level of emotional intelligence might stop reading, assess the situation they are in, realize that the turbulence makes them a little nervous but is trying to remain calm. They glance around the cabin to assess others’ emotions and they see that the flight attendants are looking confident and reassuring so that tells them that everything should be fine. Turns out everything was fine, and you make it to your vacation spot and have the time of your life. This was because you decided to apply emotional intelligence to the situation so you didn’t make an enemy out the person you have to sit beside for the next 4 hours and you didn’t get handcuffed, and the flight diverted because you completely lost it. You kept your cool. You kept it right down the middle of the two emotional extremes. That’s what emotional intelligence is, handling yourself, people, and situations in an emotionally smart manner. This can be applied in business, the military and even parenting.
So are there situations where you just have to “suck it up?” In certain pressing situations where things must happen right now, like in the military or maybe a trauma center, you prepare mentally and emotionally beforehand. For example, with the military, you train with your people and build relationships of trust and know everyone’s strengths and weaknesses and how everyone will react before you stack up on a door and make entry and things get crazy. This would be the same for various business, parenting, or leadership situations.
I truly believe that increasing one’s emotional intelligence can lead to a better you, better group dynamics, and better leadership. So instead of just sucking it up when things get hard, level up your emotional intelligence for a better outcome in life.
Get out and do your thing, be good, and love others.